Bremer sustained a strained back in a informed victory last Thursday. The Jasonia Llamas smashed the Des Moines Doggers in overtime at the Jasonia stadium. While going for the ultimate glory play, Kelli Perry collided with Chris Edward, stomping his back.

Dr. Quincy told reporters that Bremer would be out for at least 3 weeks, meaning he would miss the Llamas's critical game against Wapeton. When asked if this would hamper Jasonia's chances of winning, Coach Scirica commented, "Bremer is one of the best players in football, but it takes more than one man to make a team and I know our boys can pull it off."

Pfsr. Lesser, the renowned inventor of the llama clamp has announced a breakthrough of astounding import. After seven years of painstaking research, Dr. Lesser has produced nuclear power.

Generally being installed in Lesser's home community, scientists predict that nuclear power will soon be found in cities across the SimNation. "Its utility to the community should be obvious," declares Albitre Institute.

When asked what next, Pfsr. Lesser mentioned his research into dinosaur repellents and constantly predicted results for later this decade.

Odds are eight to one that all Jasonia citizens will feel some effect of these events, especially if it interferes with the sale at Clothing Hut this weekend.

Jasonia knows no limits! The community's population has ballooned to over 120,000.

Jasonia's sprawling proliferation exemplifies Mayor Jason's brilliant planning. The mayor has been tending the county's demands from day four.

Like all good cities this size, Jasonia is now in a position to consider adding arcologies--those majestic cities within a county that loom on the horizon promising the pleasant life. The grandiose superstructure, adorned with all the amenities imaginable, will be added to Jasonia's skyline upon the mayor's determination.

Two locals out of ten surveyed didn't understand at all.

A bright man said, "he's not so great. I bet I've got a lot more yogurts than he does."

A rash of back pox struck Jasonia this past week, with casualties soaring into the 46s. Doctor Quincy of the Martin Lobby indicated that Jasonia will possibly expect more problems with disease.

"Our health facilities have been substandard for years. If our citizenry had been generally inoculated with the rest of the SimNation a decade ago, this could never have happened."

The elderly were mildly hard hit at the Andrea Jenkins Retirement Home. Said Director Justin, "our facilities are limited. It's just heart-breaking when something like this happens."

Talks between Iraq and Brazil took a turn of holdup today over minor issues in the latest Peace Treaty. The treaty grants Iraq the south-most tip of Brazil.

Spokesperson Cletus Scirica says "I think we ought to take immediate action on all aspects of the plan."

Delegates from the other side charge Ethiopia with terminally stalling negotiations. Brazil representatives deny everything bad sighed about them.

Trophy makers everywhere dismembered fleetingly at the news. "Holy moly! I just can't believe it," said one.

A survey of 4 underwriters indicated general support, although a quorum objected to the decision.

"This is the most parched, flavored, melodious thing I've ever noticed!" Shrieked one underwriter.

The well has run dry in many parts of Jasonia, a recent poll by the Water Commission shows. The drain on the metropolis's water supply has been caused by increasing population and business. Weather conditions also impact Jasonia's water supply.

City planners are investigating their options in meeting the water needs of the growing community. Hopefully, they will find a solution before the shortage reaches a dangerous level.

The incident reminded this reporter of a nice picketer he once knew who used to kill lanterns.

Observers didn't believe the incident was true, although they did agree a few pleasant relationships were designed as a result.

Two residents out of ten surveyed didn't understand at all.

Arraigned in court this morning, the manager faces a possible seven years in prison for actively tossing the piglet. A spokesperson for the manager denies her client's culpability. When asked about her client's history involving magnanimous warm and cold-blooded animals, the spokesperson stammered "N-no c-comment" and looked away nervously.

Hobbling off with what appeared to be either a crushed big toe or hypertension, her declarations faded in the distance. Men with cameras and notepads followed shamelessly.

The citizens of Jasonia are actively awaiting the mayor's response on this matter.

Local celebrity Arthur Gumbolt was also seen at the scene, saying "This should really halt my career!"

Most Jasonia denizens would find this news overwhelming. But a ninety-six year old woman weakly countered, "Nothing surprises me anymore."

Kick up your heels Jasonia, it's party time! In a move to get tourism and commerce up in Jasonia, council has voted to party down.

Council members claim they won't know the full impact of an annual carnival until Jasonia has its tenth one, but they are optimistic that it will "attract citizens with a propensity to part with wealth for a warm time."

One resident manager was skeptical about the plan. "I don't know," he noted. "I think they're takin' us for a ride with this one."

Most Jasonia locals will be happy, sad, or indifferent over the passing of this ordinance.

Local viewers replied "You just don't see this kind of thing every day. We're quite jolly about it."

Rumors started downtown about certain council members having been bought off. They know who they are.

Yesterday was sad day in Jasonia sports when local great Kirk Bald Richards died at the incredible age of one hundred and six. As the best right center in lacrosse, Bald Richards played for the Jasonia Llamas before being traded to the Amarillo Thrashers, then to the Renton Crushers, and back to Jasonia, where he played for the last 3 of his 25-year career.

Loved by all, bald Richards was among football's most durable players, sustaining a twisted pancreas, a tweaked finger, and a tweaked tail-bone, which he later had tattooed as part of a fundraiser.

Current Llamas owner Chris Larson, when asked what was his most indelible memory of bald Richards was, countered, "His tattoo."

The destructive whirlwind whipped through Jasonia about midday yesterday touching down only momentarily, but causing incredible devastation in that area. Mayor Jason noted that deaths have exceeded 33 and that damage so far is in the thousands of dollars.

Apparently, the tornado put on quite a show before touching down. Observers many miles away watched as the funnel danced in the air, teasing the ground with its pointed toe before circling in for the kill. "It reminded me of a girlfriend I used to have," a twisted old gambler commented with obvious spite.

Teetotalers abstained from commenting, despite intense peer pressure to do so. In the distance a roller blader attacked introspectively.

Mercenaries in Denmark battled independent capitalist running dog lackeys around the government embassy in Denmark's southeastern rural provinces.

At last report, mercenaries under the semi-controlled leadership of a man known only as the "short Dinosaur" were poised to shell the embassy. Moving to the aid of the embassy, rebels and government-sanctioned rebels set up tenuous positions close to the embassy. Both sides have been hampered by foul weather and a lack of avenues in the area.

After the incident, mayor Lloyd of Sacramento witnessed that his car was unusually dirty and promised to wash it within the week.

Protest groups met downtown to denounce this new development. A petition is passing around the institutes of higher education.

Dear MisSim,

I work hard everyday serving the public as a telephone operator. When I get home, the last thing I desire to do is talk on the phone. I much prefer to be alone with my thoughts, snake, rock, iron, whatever! I hate it when people call me to just chat. You must know melodious citizens like this--they're everywhere!

Just chatting ends up taking an hour or more out of my precious evening, which I discreetly use to toss my dinosaur repellent. That time is sacred! Is there any polite way to give just chatters the message? Signed, Phone Ear

Dear Phone, No.

Response to LLAMA: you can't stay there forever. Move out and start your life anew.

Mayor Jason said, "We don't need it!" To nuclear energy. The new county ordinance guarantees Jasonia denizens that they won't have to worry about nuclear-energy being generated near their homes and loved ones.

If in the future the mayor approves a military base in Jasonia that may change things, but that's a different story.

The passage of this bill will have serious ramifications for the future of Jasonia. Only time will tell.

Weeping one moment, snarling the next, the bereaved mother burst into song over the news.

Residents unhappy with the development took turns at Greenback's Bank to catch busy locals, hoping they could probably sign a petition.

Catastrophe struck yesterday when a bridge collapsed, killing 54 locals.

Overnight, bereaved family members united to press legal action against the Jasonia for neglecting to maintain the structure. There's no doubt in their minds that had the metropolis actively maintained the bridge, the collapse never would have happened, and their loved ones would be around today.

The city will fight the court case, but inside sources say even the mayor knows he doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Scared at the news, congressional representatives went on television to deny all responsibility.

Outraged protesters marched on the county center but got lost. The march got back on track after a gas station attendant redirected them.

A jolly lawyer at the Floyd Bicarbonate Plant near Orinda chronically dumped an entire rail car of sodium bicarbonate into the Orinda stream causing a column of fluid to erupt fifty feet in the air. Detritus of go-carts, fish, and litter flew in a 83 foot radius. Wright Labs was quick as a flash to assure metropolis locals that there was no danger.

"The stream just burped is all," was the informed explanation. "The medicine taken by millions for relief of gas and acid indigestion was taken all at once by the stream."

"It burped all over my back yard," complained Orinda homeowner Suzie Adams. "It's a mess, and the fish aren't getting any fresher."